


time to fly

by thunderylee



Category: Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-31
Updated: 2010-05-31
Packaged: 2019-01-30 21:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12661443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Shige may be the one having a commencement, but Ryo is the one who’s graduating from monotony.





	time to fly

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

He’s not jealous.

He’s not. His nerves are not on end, his blood isn’t boiling, and he is not for one second wishing that his life was switched out with the one whom he’s mocked for years, who gets flustered at the slightest implication of superiority and who – truthfully – doesn’t have great hair.

Ryo has great hair. He also has a great life, a great job, a great set of friends, great family, and he himself is pretty fucking amazing too.

Still, it twists something inside him to watch Shige walk across the stage and accept his degree. His hesitance is drowned out in the explosion of applause from all around him, fans and friends and family who are proud of their idol graduate, and when Ryo stops seeing green, he realizes that he is clapping too. Quite fiercely.

Thankfully he only has one of these to go to this spring, even though he will never tell Tegoshi that he’s pleased the other won’t be graduating until next year. Tegoshi, being Tegoshi, isn’t bothered at all; to him, school is fun and something to do when he’s not busy. Any kind of structure is usually wasted on the youngest active NEWS member anyway.

Ryo used to think that school was pointless. At seventeen, he already had his successful career as a Johnny’s Junior and didn’t see any need to continue his education despite taking an entrance exam at an art school just to prove that he could pass. Even now he remembers seeing his senpai at the time – which was just Sakurai Sho back then, and later Yamapi – straining to study between concert rehearsals, TV shows, movie filming, song promotions, so on and so forth. To him, it was just added stress on top of an already stressful job and was it really necessary to go through so much trouble when they would be spending their lives singing and dancing? High school was bad enough, but he’d promised his mother he would finish.

At twenty-five, he understands a little better. Shige may have a law degree but that doesn’t mean he’s going to leave NEWS to be a lawyer, just like Koyama and Yamapi with their own degrees. It’s the sense of accomplishment, working hard for a goal that doesn’t rely on appearance or album sales, something they had to do all on their own. Introducing oneself as a college graduate automatically earns a respect that is worlds apart from screaming fangirls on the street.

Ryo would be the last person to say that his life was boring or held no purpose for him, but as he watches Shige bow and depart with his million-watt smile, he wishes that he could feel what the younger man was feeling right now. Even if Ryo would have the sense to tame his hair down before he pinned on his cap.

They don’t have a rivalry exactly; Ryo only picks on people he likes. What started out as a senior/junior-type relationship where Ryo constantly criticized Shige has evolved into something of a friendship, a mutual appreciation where Ryo doesn’t really have anything to nit-pick anymore and Shige isn’t focused on pleasing him anyway. They’ve become equals, each having their own methods of appealing to their respective audiences. And if Ryo’s being honest, he quite enjoys the individual work Shige produces. It’s different and interesting to him.

Naturally Shige has plans with his friends after the commencement, which doesn’t matter to Ryo because he has work with Eito in the morning anyway. A neverending cycle of recording, promoting, and touring – with two groups, even – makes for never a dull moment. If he isn’t filming a drama or otherwise engaged, it’s practically a vacation. He can’t imagine what it’s like to work set hours during the week and come home at the same time every day, falling into a routine like school. Even when he was a student, he was also in Johnny’s and thus his day didn’t end when he was dismissed from class.

Something like a ‘normal’ life doesn’t really compute to him, even if he feels like every other working man in the country who has fallen into a rut of repetition. Only for Ryo it’s same shit, different day, new song.

He doesn’t see Shige for a few weeks, unless watching him on TV counts; it’s one of the few times that Shige has more work than him. Being out of school now, it has to be much easier on Shige to film. He looks happier, healthier and more focused on the world around him instead of mulling over study material in the back of his head.

“Congratulations, graduate,” Ryo tells him calmly when they finally get around to meeting for a drink.

Shige’s fluffy hair holds its own in the spring breeze, which Ryo passes comment on just like the smug smile that’s threatening to take over Shige’s mouth. “Thanks. I’m really glad it’s over.”

“What are you going to do now?” Ryo teases. “There’s always graduate school.”

Shige purses his lips, giving him an unimpressed look, and Ryo bites back his amusement. “I think I’ll be okay with just being an idol now.”

_Just_ , ouch. “I wonder if I could go back to school,” Ryo muses out loud, only half serious. “I don’t think I have the discipline to study properly.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Shige responds immediately, and Ryo resigns himself to being mocked for even suggesting it until Shige’s next words sink in. “You can do anything you want to, Ryo.”

“Really?” Ryo asks. It’s not wasted on him how the tables have turned between them, if just from Shige using his first name now.

Shige just laughs. “I’m not the one who should say that. Since when do you need assurance?”

“That’s true,” Ryo admits, playing with the straw of his drink as he stares at the ugly tablecloth pattern. “You’re the graduate, though. You’re smarter than me now.”

Something hits Ryo in the forehead, and he lifts his face in astonishment that Shige actually threw a corn chip at him like a child. “Oh shut up,” Shige says, but his expression is serious. “You’re the smartest person I know. Education is no match for experience.”

Ryo considers arguing, then sees the finality in Shige’s eyes. “Aren’t I too old?”

“Only if you think so,” Shige replies evenly, and Ryo sees the result of all of that legal training.

He looks around like the other patrons or surrounding shrubbery will help him decide. “What would I even do? I’m not really interested in concrete things like law-”

“I’m glad,” Shige interrupts. “It would be annoying to have you ask me questions all the time.”

Ryo narrows his eyes. “Like I would ask you.”

“There is a world of things to learn,” Shige tells him, and Ryo notices that he’s speaking with the air of someone who is still looking forward to learning more instead of being done. “I’m sure there’s _something_ you want to know that you can’t look up on the Internet.”

“I like to read,” Ryo blurts out, an unfamiliar sense of vulnerability washing over him. “I like historical biographies as well as fiction based on real events in the past. It’s interesting to read different writing styles based on the era.”

Shige nods and smiles, clearly not sharing the opinion. “There you go, then. Be a lit major.”

“Why pay money when I can just go to the library and read whatever I want?” Ryo challenges. “I would probably have to write papers too, and I’m not good with words.”

“So you could learn to be better,” Shige argues. “Koyama told me once that summarizing a book helped him to understand it more, just like when you explain something to someone else. And discussing it with your peers helps you see the other ways it could be interpreted, because most things of that nature aren’t really cut-and-dry. Not concrete, just like you want. Writing papers opens your mind and forces you to reword things your own way, which will build your vocabulary and lead you to express yourself better in normal conversation as well as essays-”

“Okay, okay,” Ryo cuts him off. He can’t help but smile as he leans back, feeling much calmer. “You should be a spokesperson for secondary education.”

A laugh escapes with Shige’s exhale as he relaxes. “It has nothing to do with that. I’ve never seen you like this before, so… defeated.”

Ryo blinks. “All of that energy was for _my_ sake?”

Shige’s eyes drop to the tablecloth; Ryo wonders if Shige thinks it’s ugly too. “It’s not like you to not go after what you want. It’s your most admirable quality.”

“You’re the graduate-” Ryo begins.

“You could be too,” Shige says firmly, lifting his eyes to meet Ryo’s. “Or even if you don’t, things like that don’t matter.”

Ryo’s back straightens a little, standing his ground. “Of course it matters! I wouldn’t envy you if it didn’t!”

Whatever Shige had been ready to say dies on his tongue as his eyes widen and his jaw falls lax. “Envy?”

“Yes,” Ryo finally confesses, dropping his face into his hands. “I am envious of you, because you worked hard all on your own to graduate while being an idol and… and I just don’t think I could do that.”

Shige doesn’t reply right away, and when he does his voice sounds borderline hysterical. “You think I did this all on my own?”

“Of course you did,” Ryo snaps, looking through his fingers at Shige’s indescribable expression. “Nobody can study for you or do your homework for you or give up their sleep and friends, take the tests and actually retain the information _for you_.”

This time the corn chip lands in his hair. “You really are bad with interpretation. That literature course would be good for you.”

“What are you talking about?” Ryo asks irritably, brushing the chip to the floor.

Shige offers an uncharacteristically shy smile. “A student is only as determined as his support team. Regardless of personal goals, his graduation is partially due to the influence of his friends… and role models.” He pauses. “Especially the ones with your aggressive style of motivation.”

Ryo swallows. “I didn’t really do anything-”

“Since the beginning of NEWS, you’ve inspired me to work hard in both Johnny’s and school,” Shige says firmly. “You would give me a hard time if I waited until the last minute to do my coursework, then threaten everyone else to leave me alone while I finished. I used to think you were being mean, but as I got older I realized that you were just pushing me to be more responsible. Like you.”

“I still don’t think-” Ryo tries again.

“For the past four years,” Shige goes on like he hadn’t heard him, “you constantly tested my confidence because, and I quote, ‘How can you be a lawyer if you can’t even state your _own_ case properly?'”

“About that-”

“When I got bad grades, you would play it off like it didn’t matter but then turn around and lecture me about trying my best in _everything_ , like you were trying to make me feel _guilty_.” Shige’s voice is still low, but there’s a strong tone behind it, one that Ryo hasn’t heard before but feels that it suits him. “And it always worked.”

Ryo licks his lips nervously. “I was just trying to encourage you, like everyone else.”

“No,” Shige contests as he gradually shakes his head. “You don’t get it at all, Ryo. You’re different. You’re not just a quick ‘do your best!’ before an exam. You’re not even a ‘be sure to eat a good breakfast!’ like Koyama or ‘believe in yourself!’ like Yamapi. You’re the practical ‘you should be confident because you’re satisfied that you’ve studied the material to the best of your ability and will be ready for anything thrown at you, _right_?’. Even at my commencement, I could hold my head high and step forward with no regrets because I know I’ve made the most of my education and learned everything I could. Because of you and your influence.”

“I…” Ryo stammers, a thousand reactions running into each other in his mind. “It shouldn’t matter what I think. Be confident on your own!”

“That’s exactly it, I _do_ care what you think,” Shige says slowly, “because I still look up to you, even now.”

Ryo stares at the tablecloth again. “You’ve surpassed me, I think.”

“I disagree.” The words are so strong that they demand Ryo’s attention again. “You may not care about law or know the things that I know, but this degree I earned may as well be yours too. I had decided on this path before I even met you, but I had been considering stopping after high school so that I could focus on NEWS and working hard to become a better performer. Like you. You were so cool, playing the guitar and singing effortlessly. I wanted to be like that too.” He takes a breath. “Do you remember what you said to me when I was debating whether to take the entrance exam for law school?”

“Shige, that was over four years ago,” Ryo says tensely, but his heart isn’t beating rapidly out of annoyance. “I don’t remember what I said in our last interview, let alone something that old.”

“You carelessly said ‘you can do anything you want to’ like it was the most obvious answer in the world,” Shige recites, doing a rather inaccurate imitation of Ryo. He doesn’t think he sounds _that_ snarky. “I wanted to continue my education while being in NEWS, so I took the test and did both. The decision was simple, even if the years that followed it weren’t.”

“I still don’t think I did anything that merits admiration,” Ryo mutters. “I’m not much of a role model.”

“Not right now you’re not,” Shige tells him, and Ryo notices a pointed smirk on the younger man’s face. “The Nishikido Ryo I know would never let something as trivial as age and not being good at it stop him from what he wants.”

Ryo folds his arms and fixes his eyes on Shige’s. “I’ll have to think about it.”

“You do that,” Shige says as he reaches for his wallet; one glare from Ryo has him putting it away wordlessly. He stands up instead, bowing his head in silent appreciation. “And should you decide to be honest with yourself, I’ll gladly return the favor and support you all the way to _your_ graduation day.”

Ryo watches him walk away, left with the promise of having the past four years of shameless criticism and no toleration for excuses thrown back at him, by _Shige_ of all people. He’s not sure if Shige has it in him to be that aggressive, but it would be fun to watch him try. He has grown into quite the adult, though, still a little uncertain of his abilities but comfortable with himself nonetheless. He can hold his own now, particularly in debates with Ryo, and thinking about it now, Ryo can see a lot of himself in Shige – whether by intentional influence or not – but different enough to be his own person.

This time, the twist in his heart is out of pride. Not just for graduating university, but for becoming a man Ryo can be proud of.

Whether he’s referring to Shige or himself is yet to be seen.

> ~bonus~

The leaves are falling off the trees when Ryo returns home from work, fully intending to enjoy his last few days before the insanity of the holiday season embarks upon him once again. He’s already thinking about what he’s going to make for dinner and watch on TV, what flavor oil he’s going to use in his bath, and what drink he’s going to mix as a nightcap. It’s nights like these when he really enjoys living alone, moving at his own pace and embracing the peace and quiet in his mind as well as the air around him.

While the rice cooks, Ryo boots up his laptop to check his email. Not many people email him things that he can’t open on his phone, so he’s surprised to see a subject line that isn’t trying to get him to buy something or insulting his manhood. He vaguely recognizes the return address but can’t put a finger on it, the subject ‘hey’ not doing much to jog his memory.

_To Nishikido-kun,_

_It was the strangest thing. Earlier today a little green bird with fluffy hair flew by and told me that you were thinking about going back to school. Let me be the first to tell you that it’s not easy, especially as a working adult. It would be even harder for you, who may as well have two jobs._

_Should you decide to accept the challenge, the attached files may be helpful. They are core study guides for most university entrance exams, notably Waseda’s. They are necessary for people like us who have slept a lot since high school. If you have questions on any of the lessons, I probably still have them all memorized. (I really wanted to pass. >.<) Exams aren’t until the spring, so you have plenty of time to catch up._

_** This link ** _ _will give you some information on Waseda’s literature program, which I hear is really good. Although I would advise doing distance learning since a large portion of that major involves in-class discussion._

_Remember, you’re never too old to make a change. If I can do it, anyone can._

_Good luck._

_From Nakamaru Yuichi_

Ryo snorts and closes the email, but not before saving the files. Instead of watching TV, he thinks he’ll test his knowledge on Japanese history tonight.

He doesn’t need to click the link, though. Osaka University has distance learning too, and his brothers know people there. He may already be looking into it.

Besides, Tegoshi _still_ makes Nakamaru call him ‘senpai’.


End file.
